These Women Will Kill Us Softly With Their Bio-Shows And Sequins

 

Dionne Warwick

Dionne Warwick’s upcoming biopic will be based on her 2010 memoir, My Life As I See It.

It’s about damn time. Some of our most famous dames are about to either tell their stories or have them told, on Broadway, in writing and on the silver screen.

First up: Cher, of course. Deadline reports that a musical about Cher’s highly sequined life will open on Broadway sometime in 2018. The show will include many Cher songs and will tell the story of her life from childhood through the Sonny Bono years to the present, more or less. Characters allegedly include some people you might have heard of, like Bob Mackie, David Geffen, Gregg Allman, Robert Altman, Cher’s former beau Rob Camilletti and Sigmund Freud (!). Also allegedly, Jillian Mueller, Tony Winner Lena Hall and Olivier Award winner Lesli Margherita will portray Cher at different stages of her life.

The musical has a book by Tony Award-winning librettist Rick Elice (Jersey Boys, Peter and the Starcatcher). Avenue Q and Pitch Perfect’s Jason Moore directed a staged reading May, and Flody Suarez and Hamilton’s Jeffrey Seller are producing.

And, in case you missed it, Cher won an Icon Award at the recent Billboard music awards and her outfit was the bomb.

Madonna’s getting a biopic! Well, probably. Hollywood Reporter got the scoop that Universal Studios has purchased Blond Ambition, a script by Elyse Hollander that topped Hollywood’s 2016 “Black List” of most-liked unproduced screenplays in circulation. The story will start in the early 1980s, when Madonna Louise Ciccone was working on her first album, Madonna, which became her “Lucky Star” when released in 1983. BUT WHO WILL PLAY MADONNA? Lainey Gossip proposes Miley Cyrus. Sure, why not.

Meanwhile, Courtney Love, is hard at work on her memoir. Again. Apparently, the leader of the band Hole and widow of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain had to fire her first ghostwriter and start over because the initial version was too tell-all. (Courtney, do you not understand? The people demand a sleazy tell-all!) Anyway, The Girl With The Most Cake—titled after a famous line from “Doll Parts,” one of her more famous songs—was supposed to appear in 2013, but never materialized. Oh, and the first ghostwriter is suing her for non-payment. As she told Seth Meyers on “Late Night with Seth Meyers,” she’d like the next iteration to be “funny and true,” but also tasteful. Seems like a tall order—this is Courtney Love, for God’s sake—but what she wants are juicy stories about herself, not about other people. Fair enough.

We realize that Marie Curie isn’t a celebrity to everyone, but she’s getting a biopic, too! Actually, a live-action adaptation of a graphic novel. In case you aren’t up on your history of radioactive elements: Curie’s research, with her husband Pierre Curie, led to the discovery of polonium and radium, and, after Pierre’s death, the advancement of X-rays. At a time when very few women worked in the sciences, Curie was the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, and the first woman to win in two fields, physics and chemistry. The film will be based on the National Book Award finalist, Radioactive: Marie and Pierre Curie: A Tale of Love and Fallout, by Lauren Redniss. Rosamund Pike will play Curie, and the director is Marjane Satrapi, 48, known for the Oscar-nominated Persepolis, a film about a precocious Iranian girl.

Don’t “Walk on By” the upcoming Dionne Warwick biopic! Former Destiny’s Child star LaToya Luckett will play Warwick, who is reportedly very excited about the choice. Luckett will record all the songs in the film, which will be based on Warwick’s 2010 autobiography, My Life as I See It, about the early years in her career. Olympia Dukakis will play Marlene Dietrich, who mentored Warwick early on, and Donald Glover will play Warwick’s father. Among other things, the “scandalous biopic” will chronicle Warwick’s longstanding rivalry with the late Cilla Black, who allegedly stole “Anyone Who Had a Heart.”

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